Just A Phase

I often wonder if things really are just a phase.

Besides the clothes I wear, the things that I'm into, and the music I like, what else is a phase for me?

Is my major a phase? I'm pretty sure that my feelings towards some people can be summed up by phases.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm so sick of this inconsistency. Seems like every time I get things figured out, they get flipped around. Not that I don't enjoy the random change that seems to occur all the time but for once I'd like to be secure in the notion that things are ok.

One of my favorite songs ever is a song called Just A Phase by incubus... hence the topic of discussion because that song has been rattling around in my head for about 4 or 5 years and takes me back to the same thought every time I hear it.

It gives me hope and then it takes it away... and then it gives it right back. My favorite part is at the end of the chorus in the middle. There is this build that seems like it's going to really escalate into something loud... and then it doesn't. It goes right back into this really positive vibe. It's great. This song really gets me. Right before things seem to get to a breaking point, they calm back down a little so I can get a grip on reality... and then I get over it and move on. Seems like everything is a phase these days.

Except God. That's the one thing I can count on to be constant. People aren't so reliable but God is always. That fact seems more apparent everyday. I feel like I'm finally seeing answers to my prayers worked out before my eyes. Not quickly. Usually very slowly, but they happen in one way or another. Even the Bible seems to jump out at me. I read the first chapter of John the other day and it completely blew my mind. I've really prayed hard for a long time to have a closer relationship with God. It's finally starting to make some headway. I understand that relationships take work. Even with God. But I think that the most important part of growing in Christ is asking for it. I don't think I'd get as much out of everyday life if I didn't have my heart in it. Things seems very different and I really feel a change in myself coming about.

Anyway, I have to put my feelings somewhere so I guess this is the place.

I'm really disappointed in people lately. Seems like people are punking out on me all the time. I'm not really sure what that means. I don't think I'm an overly angry person. I guess it's just part of the random flipping of my life that seems to occur often.

I need to focus on things. I've finally started to decram my life and try to give myself some rest and time to prepare for what I really need to do.


Something so powerful,
this anxious feeling, channeling through my soul,
and now we are together, the unity of us all,
prepare the way (our hearts) and may we worship beyond our watery grave.

Everything is different now... will always be forever.
When I look back on this time, I will remember us all together.
Not me or what I was doing or the things that seemed at stake.
Standing in a room with brothers and sister of faith.

It took the lights to go out all day long,
For me to hear a different story.
When it's noisy out and all you hear is static,
And loud thoughts punching through the air...

And then a sudden gust of wind,
Turns to a flash, the rain is rising.
The crack of lightning running around in the sky.
Breaking through the fog of the day that begins.

And a voice whispers quietly...
Everything is different now.
What was safe and constant is changing,
And everything else breaks loose.
But it's ok because...
One thing will never change.